“a drunken woman was not "fair game" and drunkenness in men should be an aggravating factor in the courts rather than an excuse.”[1]
1. Women are less able to make rational decisions about sensible drinking (including taking measures to avoid drink-spiking) than men.
2. Women do not sexually take advantage of intoxicated men.
3. Women do not commit sex crimes against men.
The first of these assumptions is insulting to women, so I will leave that for feminists to argue about amongst themselves. I suspect this may be one of the reasons the link was removed after a student commented on it to that effect. This blog entry reflects on the second assumption, and the incongruence of the above statements with current social norms, specifically reflecting on the University student population.
Is it true that women do not sexually take advantage of intoxicated men?
Such a broad generalisation is unlikely to be true. ‘Beer goggles’ is a term used to describe people under the influence of alcohol being sexually attracted to others they would not normally consider attractive[2]. The term exists because it is a common occurrence, and a few of my friends have had sexual intercourse with women they considered unattractive as a result. If due to intoxication a man is unaware that he will regret having sexual intercourse with a woman when he is sober, does that mean he lacks the mental capacity to consent to sex? If a man wakes up after a drunken night out and finds himself with a woman he finds sexually repulsive, would it be fair for him to claim he was sexually assaulted or raped? If the situation is reversed, would it be fair for the woman to claim that she had been raped? From the quote above it would seem so for women, but not for men (unless perhaps the woman was sober while the man was drunk)!
“Before we even went out, while she was still sober, her friend told me to watch out because she had said she wanted to get me drunk and rape me.” [3]
One of my friends told me last year that a girl pushed him onto his bed and had sexual intercourse with him while he was drunk, even though he said “no”, and that he felt bad about it afterwards. When it comes to unwanted sexual encounters with women, it seems to be an unquestioned social norm for men to take responsibility for what happens to them while drunk and men who claim to have been sexually attacked by women become the subject of ridicule[4], while in the reversed situation some feminists seem to be encouraging women to cry ‘rape’. Even if men feel that they have been raped by women, it appears to me that the law may be sexist on this issue:
“The offence of Rape (Sec 1(1) SOA 2003) can only be committed by a man; however, a woman can be charged with, or convicted of rape as a secondary party. For example, a woman may be convicted of rape where she facilitated (helped) a man who has raped another person.” [5]This may be due to “the belief that men cannot get an erection and ejaculate under duress” which according to Peel et al[6] is a myth.
Is it true that women do not commit sex crimes against men?
There have been reported cases of men complaining that they were gang raped by women[7, 8] , and confirmed cases of sexual assault of men by women[9, 10]. There have also been cases of women engaging in sexual intercourse with minors[11, 12]. It would therefore be unscientific to assume that women are never sexually aggressive towards men in criminal ways. Female on male violence however, seems to me to be generally trivialised[13].
Is this a real problem for University students?
It has been for a long time:
“ In December 1992, a 20-year-old female undergraduate accused Mr Donnellan, a fellow final-year student who was also 20 at the time, of raping her in a college hall of residence.........Miss X had drunk......a 'lethal cocktail' of cider, vodka and Drambuie. Mr Donnellan denied the charge and said that Miss X had consented to sexual intercourse.” [14]
When I was a student occupational therapist a couple of physiotherapy students living in the same university hall of residence broke up after a short relationship. Then after a drunken night they slept together again and engaged in sexual intercourse. Another male student told me that he discussed this with the female student and convinced her that she had been raped. She then told several people that her ex-boyfriend raped her and only stopped doing so after he told her that he had been questioned by the police[15].
Is it realistic to expect students to separate intoxication from courtship behaviours?
Regarding my university’s student’s union it has been suggested that the “Union should be promoting safe(r) drinking through its corporate social responsibility strategies (which it already does, as a responsible alcohol vendor)”[16] yet I do not have to look far to see evidence of poorly controlled drunkenness [17]. Female friends have previously told me that the best way to get a girlfriend is to snog drunk girls because girls may be too inhibited for courtship while sober [17]. Much as I loathe it, their advice is partially supported by research:
“when it comes to the risky combination of sex and alcohol, gender makes little difference; males and females are more likely to engage in casual sex behaviors when alcohol is involved” [19]
If it is true that both men and women use alcohol to increase their social confidence for the purposes of courtship, the assertion that while engaging in this strategy men are aggressors and women are victims is sexist. The contention that if a man and woman engage in sexual intercourse while both are intoxicated beyond the capacity to consent, the man is a rapist and the woman is a victim imposes an occupational injustice on heterosexual men. If this is going to be enforced I think all drinking establishments should have bold warning signs at their exits saying:
“Government Warning: Any man who engages in sexual intercourse with a woman who has consumed alcohol will be at risk of prosecution for rape.”
What is reasonable evidence of consent?
“Even husbands or partners must have "clear consent" before having sexual intercourse or risk prosecution” [1]
It cannot be assumed that sexual intercourse between married people or boyfriend and girlfriend is not rape, because some people are in abusive relationships[20]. What is "clear consent" though? I discussed the above quote with two female students and a male student over dinner some time ago. Both female students said that asking your partner for consent before each act of intercourse would ruin the moment. The male student said “but your girlfriend would not accuse you of rape.” I trust my girlfriend, and husbands may trust their wives, but that does not alter the fact that break-ups and divorces occur. The above example regarding two physiotherapy students illustrates that a woman may decide that she has been raped some time after sexual intercourse has taken place. This is not an isolated case[21, 22] and leads me to worry for men in volatile relationships, for whom written consent may be required as protection against later accusations of rape.
I do not approve of the sexual exploitation of people [23] and usually carry out mental capacity assessments before any kind of sexual activity with a woman for the first time. This is actually quite insulting to their intelligence, but in the current climate of sexual politics I believe it is necessary for my protection. On two occasions this has resulted in me refusing to entertain women that tried to have sex with me. The first later told a mutual friend that I had tried to have sex with her, which made me very glad that I did not, because I might have been accused of rape if I had, and the second avoided me for about two weeks after the event. I thought this was because she had beer goggles and regretted her advances, and believed I had done her a favour by not having sex with her, but a female friend advised me that she might actually be avoiding me because she felt humiliated by my rejection of her. I was never able to discuss this with the woman in question because she ran away and hid every time she saw me.
Even if a more equitable approach is applied to the responsibilities for sexual intercourse while drunk and the definition of rape, written consent may be the only sure means of protection for men against allegations of rape because some students get drunk to the point that they are unable to remember their decisions or activities from the previous day[24], i.e. people may not remember consenting to sexual intercourse. I can tell you from experience that mental capacity assessments can be a passion killer. Asking for written consent may be the final nail in the coffin of romance.
It is not safe to assume that women never make false allegations of sex-crimes either[21, 25, 26, 27, 28]. Kanin[29] studied all allegations of forcible rape reported to the police in a metropolitan area of the mid-Western United States (population of 70000) over a 9-year period, and found that 41% of the ‘victims’ subsequently stated that no rape had actually occurred.
“to prove her claims, she gave police a pair of knickers she had smeared with semen from a condom stolen from his bin 18 months earlier.”[30]
In this environment where men are at risk of being criminalised in a sexually non-equitable way, it makes no sense to me to see Women’s Campaigns permitted to push one-sided agendas at British universities while men’s societies are considered discriminatory[31].
Conclusions:
Some feminists are currently pushing attitudes regarding sex crimes that effectively alienate heterosexual men by imposing occupational injustice on them. Increased fear amongst men regarding sexual activity with women is likely to have detrimental impacts on the sex lives of heterosexual women. Current courtship norms for students are in danger of being criminalised (but only for men and not for women). The only people not at risk of negative effects from this are those with no interest in heterosexual activity.
“I find most relationships begin whilst barely able to stand up in the LCR”[32]
References:
1. Whitehead T. (2010) Sex with drunken women could be rape, review to signal. Available from: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/lawandorder/7429007/Sex-with-drunken-women-could-be-rape-review-to-signal.html Accessed: 13:43 15/4/2010
2. BBC (2005) 'Beer goggles' effect explained. Available from: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/4468884.stm Accessed: 17:02 16/4/2010
3. Arachchi F. (2009) Alcohol for sexual disinhibition. Available from: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=52491475539&v=app_2373072738&ref=ts#!/topic.php?uid=52491475539&topic=17634 Accessed: 17:46 16/4/2010
4. Spags C. (2009) Pakistani guy raped by three women until he bled. Available from: http://guyism.com/2009/02/pakistani-guy-raped-by-three-women-until-he-bled.html Accessed: 8:19 16/4/2010
5. Rape Crisis (England & Wales) definition of rape. Available from: http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/law/definitionofrape.html Accessed: 17:21 16/4/2010
6. Peel M., Mahtani A., Hinshelwood G., Forrest D. (2000) The sexual abuse of men in detention in Sri Lanka. The Lancet 355(9220): 2069
7. Daily Times (2009) 3 women ‘dupe, kidnap, rape’ man in Karachi. Available from: http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=2009\02\02\story_2-2-2009_pg7_24 Accessed: 7:59 16/4/2010
8. la Grange B. (2005) Man 'gang-raped' by 3 women. Available from: http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/Man-gangraped-by-3-women-20050824 Accessed: 8:01 16/4/2010
9. Japan Today (2009) 4 women in Wisconsin tie up cheating husband, glue his penis to his stomach. Available from: http://www.japantoday.com/category/world/view/4-women-in-wisconsin-tie-up-cheating-husband-glue-his-penis-to-his-stomach Accessed: 8:06 16/4/2010
10. www.telegraph.co.uk (2009) John Wayne Bobbitt reunited with wife 16 years after she sliced off his penis. Available from: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/5276838/John-Wayne-Bobbitt-reunited-with-wife-16-years-after-she-sliced-off-his-penis.html Accessed: 8:13 16/4/2010
11. www.foxnews.com (2005) No Jail Time for Florida Teacher in Sex Case. Available from: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,176375,00.html Accessed: 8:38 16/4/2010
12. Bone J. (2005) Courts get tough on women who have sex with boys. Available from: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article598467.ece Accessed: 8:39 16/4/2010
13. Venth (2010) Are Western Societies Guilty of Trivialising Female-on-Male Violence? Available from: http://www.metaot.com/blog/are-western-societies-guilty-trivialising-female-male-violence Accessed: 17:53 16/4/2010
14. Midgley S. (1994) College 'made errors in rape case': King's rules were probably flawed in principle, inquiry finds. Available from: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/college-made-errors-in-rape-case-kings-rules-were-probably-flawed-in-principle-inquiry-finds-simon-midgley-reports-1393342.html Accessed: 13:12 15/4/2010
15. Mailoo V. (2009) Whatever happened to sensible feminism? Available from: http://www.facebook.com/#!/note.php?note_id=131195866130 Accessed: 18:06 16/4/2010
16. Youmans D. (2010) Social integration of those that would prefer not to depend on alcohol for their social lives. Available from: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=362667591819&v=app_2373072738#!/topic.php?uid=362667591819&topic=15490 Accessed: 18:26 16/4/2010
17. Venth (2009) Drunkeness is a social disease. Available from: http://www.metaot.com/blog/drunkeness-social-disease Accessed: 18:45 16/4/2010
18. Abrahamson M. (2004) Alcohol in Courtship Contexts: Focus-Group Interviews with Young Swedish Women and Men. Contemporary Drug Problems 31: 3-29
19. Grello C.M. , Welsh D.P., Harper M.S.(2006) 'No strings attached: The nature of casual sex in college students', Journal of Sex Research, 43(3): 255-267
20. R v R [1992] 1 A.C. 599, House of Lords
21. Roiphe K. (1994) The Morning After: Fear, Sex and Feminism Hamish Hamilton Ltd: London
22. http://www.telegraph.co.uk (2009) Lesbian jailed for false rape accusation. Available from: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/5077391/Lesbian-jailed-for-false-rape-accusation.html Accessed: 18:46 16/4/2010
23. Mailoo V. (2008) Respond clearly to unwanted sexual advances from spineless cocks. Available from: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=40739021130 Accessed: 19:36 16/4/2010
24. White A.M., Jamieson-Drake D.W., Swartzwelder H.S. (2002) Prevalence and Correlates of Alcohol-Induced Blackouts Among College Students: Results of an E-Mail Survey. Journal of American College Health. 51(3):117-131
25. Savill R. (2006) Ex-wife who made false rape claims faces prison. Available from: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1530174/Ex-wife-who-made-false-rape-claims-faces-prison.html Accessed: 18:47 16/4/2010
26. Priestley C. (2009) Ex-wife jailed for false rape claim. Available from: http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/4266802.Ex_wife_jailed_for_false_rape_claim/ Accessed: 18:48 16/4/2010
27. Britten N. (2009) Bibi Giles: woman who claimed gynaecologist gave her two orgasms is 'sex-hungry fantasist'. Available from: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/lawandorder/6840607/Bibi-Giles-woman-who-claimed-gynaecologist-gave-her-two-orgasms-is-sex-hungry-fantasist.html Accessed: 20:31 16/4/2010
28. BBC (2010) Father speaks out over false paedophile Facebook post. Available from: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/8523103.stm Accessed: 20:34 16/4/2010
29. Kanin E.J. (1994) False Rape Allegations. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 23(1): 81-92
30. BBC (2007) A woman's road to obsession. Available from: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6279381.stm Accessed: 20:43 16/4/2010
31. Abajingin D., Gupta G. (2009) ‘Men’s Society’ told to rename if they are to be granted society status. Available from: http://www.student-direct.co.uk/2009/11/‘men’s-society’-told-to-rename-if-they-are-to-be-granted-society-status/ Accessed: 20:44 16/4/2010
32. Anonymous (2010) Why did you choose to wait as long as you did before having sex with a new partner? Concrete 9/2/2010 features 13
